Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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