Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
