Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
