Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
