I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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