The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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