just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
