I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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