Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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