why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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