I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
