I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
