well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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