hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
