Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think i have two assholes
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
