I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
