Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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