There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
