i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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