man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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