1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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