I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
