I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
