Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You can't motorboat a personality
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
