I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
