butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
