he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
