She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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