apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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