i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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