Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
