Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
