We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I look better un-naked...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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