Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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