so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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