tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
