just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
