oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
