The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
this hospital has no fireball
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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