Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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