Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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