singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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