honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
