Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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