so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
