I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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