Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
