I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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