you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
