Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
