My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
not ubering you a puppy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
