i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
