i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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