I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
