I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
