Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
