Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
