Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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