Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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