Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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