all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
