great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize