she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
