she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
