So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
